Edo's Sushi
by bornfreeeee
Summary: Random drabbles that are guaranteed to make no sense to the human mind. -Rated for language and content.-


**This whole thing will just basically be a bunch of random drabbles and shit, a whole lot of humor that I ****guarantee you none of you will get.  
**

**Disclaimer: I no own EFFEMAYE, (let's see you figure that out).**

Roy Mustang was furiously typing away on his new porn novel when suddenly...

A MARCHING BAND INCLUDING TRUMPETS, DRUMS, CLARINETS, BELLS, SAXOPHONES, TUBAS, FLUTES, AND MORE CAME CRASHING THROUGH HIS OFFICE DOOR!

And then they left. Roy was sad after that. But then realizing that he had actually fallen asleep and just dreamt that, he got back to his paperwork... after he finished this month's issue of _Womanly Men_, of course.

"Really?! I had no idea... oh wow," Roy mumbled on as his eyes quickly skimmed the article. He would've finished that article too if it wasn't for Ed. For it was Ed who suddenly appeared out of nowhere and started to read over Mustang's shoulder.

"What are you reading, Roy?" Ed asked innocently.

"Whaa!" Roy whaaed, trying to hide his magazine. Ed just stared at Roy, cat ears and tail popping out as his bishi eyes sparkled in the light. (Which made all the fangirls faint of course.)

"What do you want Fullmetal?" asked Roy trying, and failing, to look busy.

"Well, I was wondering Roy... do you like sushi?"

Roy started at the short blonde with confusion. "Sushi? I don't know... I guess."

Ed's expression brightened. "Really?! Oh boy, oh boy! Thanks Roy!"

"But what did I... do?" Roy pondered out loud as Ed ran off.

-x-

"I'm not a douche bag!" Roy shouted, springing up from his slouching position over his desk. He searched the room, glad to see no one around, but not glad to see a puddle of drool on his desk. Roy stood up from his chair, straightened his clothes and walked to the window. Peering out, he saw green trees, white clouds, a blue sky, and Ed building something that would resemble an eleven year olds lemonade stand. _"What the hell?"_ he thought to himself.

-x-

"Fullmetal, just what do you think you're doing?" Roy asked sternly as he stomped outside towards the poorly built stand.

"But of course Roy, I'm opening a sushi stand," Ed replied proudly, coming out from behind his new shop. "I'm almost finished too, I just have to make the sign, wanna help?"

Roy looked at the strange boy. "Um, no."

"Oh, that's ok then, but just give me one sec." Ed grabbed the plank of wood that was laying on the ground near by and the large can of black paint. He then grabbed his thick paint brush, dipped it into the paint, and started to spell out _Edo's Sushi_ in a very sloppy manner. "There, all done," Ed commented as he placed the newly made sign up against the front of his shop.

Ed quickly ran behind the stand and struggled to put on an apron and chef's hat. Before speaking he cleared his throat. "Can I help you sir?"

Roy just stood and stared at the stand that looked like it would crumble to the ground at any moment. "Ed, what is this?"

"It's my new sushi shop," he answered pointing to the _Edo's Sushi_ sign. "Here, I have a sample just for you Mustang!" Ed reached down pulled out a plate of his so called sushi.

Roy looked at the blob of raw fish, to his surprise, it looked like gourmet sushi. He eyed the boy holding the plate, trying to see if his face would tell if this was a joke or not. Seeing no expression other than pure joy on Ed's face, Roy carefully reached and picked up a piece of the delicate food and slowly brought it to his mouth.

"This isn't going to kill me is it?" he asked at the last minute.

"Nope!"

Roy still eyed the item of food in between his fingers carefully but soon gave in and shoved it in his mouth. Chewing slowing he processed the taste, texture, and whatever else you do what you eat food. Not soon after he spit the sushi back out into his hand and held it out for Edward to see. "This is plastic!"

"What?!"

"Yes, this is plastic, Ed, plastic. As in not edible!" Roy shouted in rage.

Ed's eye began to tear and soon Ed was crying at full force. "Mommy," Ed cried running away from his shop, "Roy doesn't like my sushi!"

Sloth then suddenly appeared and ran to her child, hugging him tightly. "Aww, my poor boy." She glared at Roy and shouted several words not known to man and started to run towards him.

Roy, seeing his near future being inside a grave, tried to run away but was too slow to the furious mother. Sloth soon caught up to Roy and attacked him with her homunculi skills of xxxness and beat him to the ground. Roy twitched in obvious pain.

"Oh mommy, I knew you'd get that mean old man!" Ed shouted gleefully as he skipped towards his so called mother and hugger her.

Sloth looked down at the blonde boy, not knowing who the hell he was. "Who the hell are you?" she asked. She then bent down, opened her mouth wider than physically possible, and ate Ed in one sallow. Not soon after did she throw him back up. "Yuck, plastic." She walked away leaving the plastic boy and the mean old man to rot.

**Told you none of you would get my humor. Now review.**


End file.
